Friday 11 July 2008

almost forever...

Yes, yes, I know, it's been AGES since I last posted. A month, in fact, to the very day. And many, many things have happened in that month; my head has been too full to write any of it down. But now I feel ready. So, where to begin?

Well, I guess the biggest news is that I'm coming home, although I'm assuming that everybody who reads this already knows that...

Last year, when I decided that I was definitely moving to Cyprus, when I found my house, and started the ball rolling, I thought that it would be really nice to come back to the UK in August - there were a couple of festivals I wanted to go to, and I reckoned that it would be a good time to have a break from the heat (which is already way too intense!). So I booked a flight (knowing that if I left it much longer it would be unaffordable). Of course, at that point, I'd thought that the move would happen much quicker than it actually did, and that by August I'd be settled in a job, and that taking a few weeks off wouldn't be a problem.

But things haven't exactly been going smoothly - the lack of any proper work (and therefore proper money) has been quite a major issue - so after a lot of thinking and difficult sums, I reached the conclusion that staying here was going to be pretty difficult, if not impossible. I could survive for a few more months, but it would be hard, and potentially could leave me in a far worse position.

As I already had the flight booked, I figured that the best thing to do would be to cut my losses and come home - not an easy decision, but (hopefully) the most sensible. So I'll be back in Birmingham on the 1st of August - 3 weeks today!

Once I'd made the decision, at first I was quite down about it. There were a lot of "should have"s and "shouldn't have"s buzzing around in my head; I know that a little bit of self-criticism is healthy, but I can be really harsh with myself. I felt like a failure. But, having talked to a few sensible people, and gotten my head around the situation a bit more, I realise that that's ridiculous. I haven't failed. Just because things haven't worked out quite how I planned, so what?

Living here has been an awesome experience. Perhaps it wasn't the most sensible time to have done it, but the opportunity was there and I took it, and I'm really happy that I did. If somebody had told me five years ago that I'd be moving to Cyprus, I'm not sure I'd have believed them. Before this I'd never even lived outside of Birmingham (well, aside from a few weeks in Dudley, but we don't talk about that...). I've done so many things that I'd never imagined I would (or even could) do. I've experienced a different way of life, another culture, new ideas, I've learnt a new language. I've met some very interesting people. The whole experience, I think, has made me a much stronger person.

There's a lot of things I'll miss about being here, but there are also a lot of things I'm really looking forward to. The obvious one is seeing people - I've missed my family and friends (yes, all of you!) a hell of a lot. I've kept in fairly close contact with everybody, and have probably spoken more to some people than I did when I was there... but it's not the same. I've missed hugging people, that physical closeness, that familiarity. I've missed sitting, drinking tea, and chatting for hours about everything and nothing, but also I've missed being able to just sit and not talk at all, as you can with people you've known forever.

I've missed the British weather. Here, every day, when I get up, I know the sun is going to be shining. I know that it's going to be HOT. All day (and all night!). I miss the wind, the rain, the unpredictability of it all. I miss the thousand different shades of green, I miss the changing of the seasons - I'm so glad I'll be there for autumn, the amazing colours. I'll be able to go for long walks again, without fear of melting :-)

Even though sometimes I've hated living in a big city, there are things that I took for granted without even realising. Going to the cinema, at almost any time of day, and having a choice of films. Catching the bus home. Getting back and realising that I've run out of milk, but there's still a shop open where I can buy some!

This is all taking much longer than I thought it would - I have other things I want to talk about, but right now I need to go to bed. I'll write again tomorrow. Promise...

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